


lluvia

by the_forgotten_daydreamer



Series: Voltron: Legendary Defender [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Lance, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), But it happens in ch1 so..., Caring Keith (Voltron), Concussed Lance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Injured Lance (Voltron), Injured Veronica (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith x Lance - Freeform, Keith/Lance - Freeform, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lance (Voltron) Has Panic Attacks, Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, Lance Gets a Concussion, Lance goes to therapy, Lance has a concussion, Lance has anger management issues, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Lance (Voltron), Spoiler: veronica dies., Traumatized Lance, Worried Keith (Voltron), keith helps, set in s7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-09-25 21:43:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20378578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_forgotten_daydreamer/pseuds/the_forgotten_daydreamer
Summary: When Lance and Veronica's vehicle flips (in s7) they get seriously injured. One of them is forced to move on without the other, and dealing with the physical and mental trauma won't be easy.





	1. no me dejes solo - don't leave me alone

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own VLD nor these cgaracters.  
-  
⚠️ The 'Major character death' happens in chapter 1, so, yeah, it's pretty easy to understand who survives.  
Don't be afraid, it's gonna be okay, I promise.

The ringing in his ears was deafening, so much that he shut his eyes tightly, hoping for it to stop.

"Lance, are you there?"

Pain. Utter, unbearable pain. Oh God, he felt like puking.

"Lance? Where are you, buddy?"

His head throbbed mercilessly, and his eyes seemed to threaten to come out of their cavities.

"Can you hear us?"

He couldn't think.

"Lance? Lance, come in!"

The boy groaned softly, as he wasn't even sure if air was actually reaching his tired lungs. 

_ Por favor, deja de hablar… _

Lance was laying on his stomach, sprawled on the ground; below his head, a puddle of red, thick blood had already formed, and didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

_ ¿Qué coño está pasando..? _

He shakingly reached for his face- in a faint attempt to stop his vision from swimming so much- and halted when he realized that he had his helmet on. Broken, obviously: thin shards of the visor had cut the left side of the boy's face, piercing his dark, bruised skin. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't quite see with his left eye. 

_ Espero que sea sólo un moretón... _

Saliva heavily wet the Paladin's mouth, as bile rose up his throat for the overwhelming panic taking control; he gagged a couple of times.

_ Calmáte… _

Lance drew a deep breath, aggravating all the pain that he felt.

_Okay Lance, amigo, está bien, it's_ _just a bruise, just a bruise. Eye's still there… está bien._

The Cuban boy groaned again, as he slowly shifted; a dull, persistent pain in the shoulder made any movement impossible. Furthermore, his ribs ached.

_ Puedo tener un hueso roto… _

He swallowed loudly, and slowly tried to at least sit up.

Lance did not want to yell, he really didn't, but the pain was unbearable; so he screamed.

His heavy head swam, and he found himself on the floor, again.

_ O màs de uno… _

But he had to get up. He didn't have a choice.

Lance yelped as he finally got on his knees, panting heavily. His lungs were on fire- _oh God, oh God, no puedo respirar-_ and he started to cough violently, as now he was certain that oxygen wasn't even getting into him. 

The Paladin bent down, elbows on the dry sand, and kept coughing; his now dull eyes watered and with each cough, his guts directly threatened to come up too.

Lance managed to stop coughing, somehow, maybe because he'd blacked out for a while, such a short time that didn't even allow him to actually fall back on the floor. 

He blinked heavily, and realized that the voices he'd heard before were still screaming, calling his name and asking for something- _ coordinates?- _that he couldn't quite understand. 

The boy shut his pained eyes, and faintly pressed the side of his helmet, pushing the comm button, and turning it off. 

_ugh, 'nough of that, now. _

He quickly removed his helmet, without thinking of any possible spinal injury, and tossed it aside; he needed air.

Lance pressed his shaking hands on his face, trying to focus; he felt like throwing up. So he did.

After a time that seemed eternal to him, Lance took a deep breath, in order to gather his scrambled thoughts. As he opened his eyes again, he looked down his chin, noticing that it felt somewhat sticky.

The Paladin gingerly lowered his gaze, and gasped as much as his lungs allowed him to.

_ ¡No, Dios! _

Blood. There was blood on his chin; he'd coughed it up. That was bad.

_Cuando… and how did I..? Mierda… _

All these questions clouded the boy's already-confused thoughts, and he felt panic rising once again. 

"¿Dónde estoy? Ugh, Me duele la cabeza… I want to dormir..." he mumbled, speaking for the first time after he regained consciousness.

_ ¡C-come on, idiot, piensa, Lance! _

Then, the sudden realization of something that went completely wrong hit him.

_ The team. Waiting for Red. The Garrison. The vehicle. The Garla attack… _

He drew a short breath.

_ Veronica. _

Lance blinked rapidly, eyes moving around at incredible speed, trying to find his sister.

"Veronica, hermanita, ¿dónde estás? Veronica!?"

The boy quickly got up and grabbed his beyard- turned into a blaster already- and started screaming his sister's name, completely ignoring the pain in his shoulder, ribs, legs and head.

"Veronica, where are you!?," he stepped forward, looking around, "¡respóndeme, por favor!"

Lance ran for a couple of meters, reaching the edge of the dune he was on, only to spot the girl in the distance, less than a minute walk from where he was. 

His blue eyes were watering up- was it because he was happy? Concussed? Both?- and he couldn't see well.

So, he ran.

He shouldn't have been running, he knew that, somewhere in his subconscious, but he couldn't wait either. Lance was going to save his sister. He had to.

As the Paladin approached Veronica, he noticed how still she was.

_ No, no no no por favor Dios, no me la quites, mi hermanita, Veronica… _

He picked up the pace, and fell on his knees ungracefully- dropping the blaster- and towered the girl.

"Veronica, soy Lance…" he said, tentatively.

The young officer was on her side, in a semi-fetal position; Lance wanted to turn her on her back, but what if she had a spinal injury? What if-

"Lance..?"

Before the boy could dwell further in his thoughts, the barely audible voice of Veronica- whose head was now turned in Lance's direction- pulled him out of that never ending spiral.

"Veronica, Dios, estés bien, Veronica, gracias a D-"

"Lance," the girl interrupted "are you alright?"

He laughed. Was she- the one on the floor, unmoving, asking him if he was alright?

"You gotta be kidding me hermana, estoy bien, lo siento, todo eso es por mi culpa, yo soy débil, mi Léon me ignora porque soy el peor Paladíno, y-"

"Lance!" 

"What?"

"Snap out of it-,"

Before Veronica could finish her sentence, she started to cough. Blood. So much blood.

"Veronica, Veronica! What's happening, Veronica?" Lance screamed, panicking, "where are you hurt? Déjame ver".

The girl didn't stop coughing, so Lance decided to act on his own, adrenaline finally kicking in; he gently grabbed his sister, and slowly, gingerly laid her on her back.

_ Mierda... MIERDA_

He wanted to throw up now more than ever before; all the pain he was feeling disappeared completely, and blood drained from his face.

The view before his eyes was blood curdling: a piece of metal was stuck in Veronica's abdomen, and it was the only thing preventing the girl from losing all the blood she had in her.

Lance heard screams: his or Veronica's, he didn't know.

He was hyperventilating, and his vision swam once again.

Then, a small, gloved hand gently touched his face.

The Paladin looked down at his sister- chin and cheeks stained in deep red blood- who smiled weakly,

"It's going… to be… okay..." she whispered, never moving her hand, "please, st-," she stopped to cough, "stay calm, Lance… , ¿puedes hacerlo por mí?".

Lance's breaths stabilized, with his eyes that remained glued to his sister's.

"Veronica… I'm so sorry…," the boy said, as hot, fat tears rolled down his dirty cheeks, "help is coming, ¿me oyes?, they'll save you…"

He didn't stop crying.

He didn't believe his own words.

Nobody was coming.

They had no way to know where he was.

Nobody was coming.

The girl smiled softly, and blinked wearily, "Lance… I love y-you… you've always been so go-od to... everybody… and you d-deserve the world..," she took a deep breath, "and lo siento, it's my fault… There's n-no… way out, Lance," she gasped, as blood clogged her airways, and started dripping from her nose and ears.

"No Veronica-"

"Let me finish..," the Officer interrupted, her voice even lower than before, "please… I want you to live a good life… Do not..," Veronica groaned, as her vision whitened, "do n-not let this take your ha-happiness away…"

Lance started choking on his sobs, and cradled Veronica's hands near his forehead,

"Please don't leave me," he shook, "we all lo-ve you… what am I going to tell to the others? Mamá is n-never going to look at me the same… and I will never manage to do it either… I'm a m-monster, Veronica. It's my fault… Veronica, f-forgive me" he sobbed.

The girl just stared at his wrecked little brother, as a tinge of guilt caused her more pain than the actual wound, "Lance- it's ok-"

"No!" he shook his head fastly, "it's not o-okay! It sh-should've been m-me! Y-you don't deserve this! You-" he heaved, "you always c-cared f-for me even when I myself didn't. You're th-the best person I k-know… You can't-"

Veronica shushed him gently, as he kept rocking back and forth, Veronica's hand in his own two.

"I love you, Lance"

Lance didn't realize that time went by.

He didn't realize how Veronica's hand had become a dead weight.

He didn't register that the body next to him had started to become cold.

He didn't notice that the pool of blood had reached his knees.


	2. te mataré - I'll kill you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has gone mad.  
Is he beyond saving?  
Will anybody actually try to help him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own VLD nor its characters

The first raindrop fell on the pool of blood Lance was unconsciously staring at.

Then a second one. 

A third one.

Lance idly looked up at the dark, cloudy sky.

_ Está lloviendo… Deberíamos volver a entrar right now. Espero que los niños hayan quitado los zapatos antes de entrar… or mamá is gonna be so mad _he mumbled, chuckling.

He lowered his gaze, only to find his beloved sister still, dead, empty eyes staring up at the sky, without really looking at anything.

"Why are you looking at the clouds like that," Lance whispered "did you see something funny up there? Veronica?"

She didn't reply.

"Hey, talk to me…"

He shook her firmly,

"I know, I'm sorry, it's my fault, alright? I apologized! No need to act like this!"

He grabbed her hands roughly, and squeezed them,

"Forgive me, Veronica…"

The lack of sparkle in his sister's once blue eyes got him. 

He rubbed his own, vision clouded by tears and rain.

Bright blood startes dripping from his nose, partially because it was broken, partially because- when he had hit his head during the blast- he got a concussion, and the blood found its way out of his skull.

_ Veronica..? _

He dug his fists in his eye sockets and screamed at the sky, throwing his head back violently.

After some moments, the Paladin grabbed his sister's cold body and slightly raised her upper abdomen from the sand, "who fucking did this to you? Who was it? Ese hijo de puta," the boy shot up, grabbing the blaster, "¡voy a asesinar a alguien!"

Hatred stained his face, red, angry, violent.

"Damn it, answer me, Veronica!" he snapped, "I can't do this alone, ¿entiendes? Fucking listen to me!" 

_ Tú perra, ¿por qué no respondes? _

The sky lit up, but the rain didn't stop.

"Veronica? Veronica!"

God, he was so confused. 

Had he hit his head? He couldn't remember.

_ Veronica… she is- _

Lance started sobbing, again, "p-please, I can't… Veronica… I will do whatever you say, I will be good… please, Veronica, seré un bueno chico, lo juro…" he took her hand gently and slowly cradled it.

The Paladin sniffled and grabbed his pounding and heavy head. 

This couldn't be real. Had his sister passed? The one who protected and loved him since the day he was born? The one who taught him everything about stars? The one whom he owned his own life?

Lance, wide eyed, lowered his gaze, finally acknowledging Veronica's face: pale, bloodied, jaw slack and slightly parted lips, eyes unfocused.

Suddenly, it was real, _ too real. _

The Paladin barely managed to spin around, and dry heaved for what seemed like an eternity to him.

His amdomen ached, his head spun, his thin limbs trembled: the arms below his broken body buckled, and he found himself plopped in his own saliva. 

Drained, tired, powerless.

_ It's over… moriré. Ella está muerta y la culpa es solo mia. Me merezco este dolor... _

"Veronica…" 

Lance lowered his head, as fat, hot tears stained his tired and pained face.

He hadn't cried for real, yet. But these new tears were heavy with despair.

He vaguely heard footsteps behind his shoulders. A faint sound reached the Paladin's ears, but he didn't hear it over his own yelps of pain and grief.

"Halt, Paladin"

_ Not now. _

"Surrender to Officer Gelsyon" a Galra private ordered, as his superior stood behind him.

_ Déjame en paz. _

A blaster fired, and Lance jumped; the Galra bot was before him, weapon pointed in his direction, still smoking from the shot he'd made to the ground next to the boy.

"Please… no more," Lance begged, shielding his sister, "let us go, I must take care of mi hermanita, she's injured…"

"This is the one who has the Red Lion, Miss"

"Please, let me go, I need to save her"

"On your feet, boy!"

"Veronica, please, forgive me"

"Take the Paladin, his Lion will come for him soon," Officer Gelsyon commanded quietly, speaking for the first time as she stood solemnly, with her strong arms folded.

Two privates grabbed Lance from his upper arms, and pried him away from Veronica's corpse.

The Officer kneeled in front of the deceased girl, and grabbed her hair, to see her face better.

Lance tried to free himself, in vain, struggling against the soldiers that were holding him,

"Let her go- stop! Puta, let my sister go!" 

"Sister, huh? Amazing..," the Garla Officer let Veronica's head fall and stood up again, "this one's not a threat," Gelsyon declared, "but I want her anyway…" she smirked, "I'll have her head as a trophy. Let's go" she turned her heels, and Lance was violently brought to his trembling knees.

"LET US GO, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO-" he yelled, as the guards held him back, jostling his dislocated shoulder.

"Quiet," one of the privates said, hitting Lance in his nape with the back of the blaster, "speak only if you're demanded to".

Lance's wobbly legs gave out, as he wavered in and out of consciousness. The guards kept dragging him.

_ No. It can't be. I can't die here. No… My friends..._

He gingerly looked up at the sky, but nothing seemed to be coming for him.

The rain was still pounding, not as heavily as before, and here was no sign of his Lion, nor any sign of his friends.

He chuckled.

_ They are not coming for me, alright. _

Why was he laughing now? Was he amused? No, not one bit. Something else was stimulating his brain; something that he hadn't felt for a while, now that he was back on Earth.

_ Me versus them? Seems good. _

"Where are you taking me..?" he asked, "I need to sit down… At this rate, I won't make it," he tried.

Nobody seemed to be listening to him,

"Guys… A Lion won't answer to a dead Paladin, you know?"

Officer Gelsyon halted, and so did the guards.

"I know you need me up and going… Let me sit down and rest," he exhaled, "and I will call the Lion here and now".

The two privates looked at their superior officer with a questioning look.

"Search him for comms and then let him sit down for a tick," the Officer ordered, turning her back again.

After the soldiers had declared Lance comm-free, they roughly let go of him, as he hit the floor face first.

"Call your Lion, now" she said calmly, never looking at the Cuban boy, "try something funny and I will shoot you in the head, personally. I would find your weapon anyway"

"Won't even think of it, babe," he smirked, his fake persona emerging again, "let me focus now, I need silence".

The guards seemed to understand and shut up, not moving a muscle.

_ About 50 bots behind the dunes, 10 or 12 soldiers around the Officer, the Officer herself and the dudes behind me… piece of cake. _

_ But I have no weapon, and that's a problem… if only- _

"Paladin!," Gelsyon called, "where is it?"

"It's distant, but on its way… I don't know when the Lion will be here-" he tried, "I'm doing what I can"

_ I am so sorry, hermanita, todo eso es por mi culpa… Just a bit longer, wait for me! _

Without losing her composure, the Officer took out a knife, and made her way to Veronica; she started to carve into the girl's arms' skin, "do better, then, Paladin" she smirked, "as I said, I only need her head..!" she exclaimed, stabbing the knife into Veronica's hand.

Lance immediately gagged, and even the soldiers seemed to dislike the move.

All he saw was red. Angry red.

Adrenaline flowed in his veins, pumped strength into his body, postponing the shutdown.

With an inhuman scream, he shot up, and pried the blaster he had been hit with from the distracted soldier's hands, fastly launching himself onto the Officer. 

She didn't even have time to duck, and before she knew it, Lance started to hit her with the back of it on her head, screaming like a wild beast.

"Stand down!"

"Shit! Don't shoot, you may hit the Officer"

"But what do we do-"

"Bots, come closer!"

The Galran woman kicked Lance, sending him off her; Lance charged again, eyes glowing with rage, and collided head-first with the Officer's.

Gelsyon stumbled and fell again, as Lance punched her multiple times in the face with both hands, ignoring the pain in his shoulder and head.

Guards tried to pry him from the Officer's body, but he kept them away, kicking like a bull and using every limb and body part to hit the others, not caring of the pain this caused him.

Suddenly, he yelped, as he registered a different kind of pain: he looked at his lower abdomen, noticing a big dagger stuck into it.

Officer Gelsyon took advantage of Lance's distraction, punching him in the face; he fell back.

"You're dead, boy," she said, retrieving the knife and earning a scream from the Paladin.

She raised the weapon, holding it up in the air with both hands and chuckling,"hope you get in touch with your sister again!"

Suddenly, a rush of boiling air sent them all flying for a couple of meters; as Lance looked up, blinking the tears away, he smiled softly,

_ Red, my girl, finalmente! _

The Lion, in all its magnificence, roared, and landed on the bots waiting that were still behind the dunes, crushing them.

As the soldiers and Gelsyon looked at the Lion in shock for a brief second, Lance grabbed the guard's blaster, and without even taking the time to aim, he shot.

I was a clean, neat shot.

Right through Officer Gelsyon's head.

The woman face face first into the sand, a hole the size of a punch in her head.

"Offic-"

He shot again.

Another dead body fell to his feet.

The Galran opened fire, screaming, yelling obscenities to the Paladin; he didn't take the bait.

_ Die. _

He shot every soldier down, as he yelled like a madman, moving as fast as the wind, turning his beyard into a sword when needed, beheading privates and stabbing them repeatedly till he heard their spine breaking.

_ Die, you crazy purple bitch! _

He ran to the remaining bots, taking them down too, and earning a few more bruises, as those machines were made for combat.

The blood trail was long and smelled bad, but Lance didn't care: his own blood stained his face and armor, dripping steadily, draining him.

He had won.

He was the last one standing. 

Lance went before his Lion, and smiled genuinely.

_ Gané… _

He let his weapon fall, and followed it, landing on his heavy knees.

He sighed, as rain kept falling on him, mixing with tears and sweat.

_ Red… Gané. _

He laughed. He laughed so much.

Hysterical.

He was going crazy.

The Paladin dragged himself even closer to his Lion, lowering his trembling head, and yelled,

"Why didn't you come sooner?"

…

"I have been waiting for so long..!"

…

"Veronica is- she's-"

…

Lance screamed,

"Goddamn it, you fucking-," he coughed up blood, and shakingly wiped his chin "¡es tu colpa! Yours! Why didn't you come for me when I needed you to!? Madición, Red, te odio! You're just like Blue!" his throat was sore, "tired of me, ya?" 

He coughed again, and didn't stop: his bloodshot eyes threatened to come out of their sockets, as pressed his hand on the stab wound.

Lance's vision started to darken around the edges, but he didn't give in to the welcoming darkness.

Instead, he got up, slowly, trembling, using his sword as a crutch; the boy breathed heavily, and with each income of air, he felt more and more tired. 

_ Not yet, Lance..! _

He limped his way towards Officer Gelsyon's corpse, a new anger blinding him; it took him more than five doboshes only to advance a few meters, panting heavily, blood dripping from nose and ears too at this point.

He towered the dead body, and took the sword's edge out of the sand,

"Who's having fun, now?" he asked, stabbing her in her heart, as blood started to flow slowly from the wound,

"What, did they take your tongue?" he insisted, and stabbed her in her stomach.

Lance went on injuring Gelsyon, going faster as ticks went by, putting more violence and strength in each blow, grunting as he dug the blade into the body.

He didn't acknowledge the four Lions that landed a few meters behind him.

He didn't acknowledge his friends' panicked screams.

He didn't acknowledge them gasping and gagging as they saw Veronica's body.

He didn't acknowledge as they stepped closer to him, fastly.

He didn't acknowledge as Keith grabbed him from under his armpits and dragged him a few steps back, yelling his name, as Hunk carefully took the sword from his shaking and bloodied hands.

"Lance, damn it, snap out of it!" Keith yelled in his ears, struggling to hold him.

"¡Déjame ir!"

"Coran, we need a pod- no, we need- we need a surgery room," Pidge screamed as they talked on the comm link, "I can see a stab wound, and he's sputtering blood- fuck, from ears and nose too! I need to take a closer look- Keith, hold him!"

"I am trying-" 

"¡Bastardos hijos de puta, déjame ir!"

"Hunk, help Keith; Allura, get your Lion now!"

"On it, give me a tick!" she said, running away.

Hunk held down Lance's legs, carefully, not wanting to hurt him, as Keith did the same with his arms, the Paladin yelled, as pain shot up from his shoulder,

"¡MÁTAME YA!" Lance screamed, crying.

"Shit! Sorry, buddy, I'm so sorry!". 

Lance was now screaming bloody murder, trying to move, jerking as hands touched him everywhere,

"Pidge, we won't be able to hold him for a long time!" Hunk screamed, panicking.

"¡Quiero morir!"

"I'm doing as fast as I can," the Green Paladin yelled, looking and touching Lance's wound, "fuck, it's deep," they murmured, quickly moving to Lance's head, "anisocoria, slow reflexes..". Pidge cursed, moved their hazel eyes to Lance's forehead, inspecting it closely, "this cut here is not too bad, but..." Pidge moved her head below Lance's head, who whimpered, "he hit his head, violently". Pidge looked at Keith, "Severe head trauma, blood loss, broken leg or hip- I can't tell- presumably punctured lung and some cracked ribs- and he has a dislocated or broken shoulder…" they announced grimly.

"My Lion's ready, let's go!" Allura said.

It took them a lot of time to bring Lance in the Lion, biting through the pain of hearing his rageful and pained, incoherent screams. Furthermore, it took Shiro- who had joined the Paladins to find Lance- everything he had not to vomit as he carried Veronica's corpse in his hands, as he proceeded to ease her on the floor, hiding her from Lance.

The boy was completely soaked in cold water, and heat radiated from him.

Keith was kneeling next to the Paladin- roughly bandaged- who was on the floor as well, while Pidge screamed instruction to the Garrison's medics who were getting ready for Lance.

"No, no, no…" he mumbled, "I can't… creerlo…" his eyes were unfocused, head lolling, "my fault, my fault… only my, my fault"

"Lance, buddy, please," Keith murmured desperately, stroking his _ friend _'s hair back, "look at me, man..!"

"We're almost there, less than three doboshes from the Garrison's hospital!" Allura announced, not taking her eyes off the sky in front of her.

"How is he?" Shiro asked, kneeling next to Lance, in front of Keith.

"Not good, he's not there, Shiro- he's"

"Mamá, Veronica esta muerta por mi culpa…"

Keith lowered his sad eyes, "is she really..?"

"Sadly, yes… She must have died at least two vargas ago, according to Pidge. Hunk's scanning the cells to know more, but there is nothing we could've d-"

"Déjame ir, mi hermanita me está esperando..." 

"He has a fever too, I guess…" Shiro said. "But… How will we- how can we tell his family. How can-" Keith exhaled, "I can't- Lance won't recover-"

"Keith," Shiro said, squeezing the boy's shoulder gently, "breathe… It will be okay. I don't know how long it will take, but it will be okay".

The Red Paladin nodded, shallowing the lump in his throat, and returning his gaze to Lance's pale face.

_ It's gonna be okay… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Lance... But the worst is yet to come!!  
As always, let me know what you think of this!


	3. tranquilo - quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura finds a way to get Lance back; Keith follows her

“Blood pressure of  80/50!” yelled a nurse, hands all over Lance’s still and bloodied form, has his gurney was being rapidly taken to the operating theater by other two people who were pushing the cot.

“Pupils of unequal sizes,” announced another, flashing a small light in the boy’s clouded eyes, while forcing them open, “we must reduce the swelling immediately!”. 

The nurses kept communicating while ascertaining Lance’s condition, as Keith, Pidge, Hunk and Shiro followed them, tears in their eyes and panic taking over.

Allura and Coran had been left behind- more like detained from the Garrison soldiers who took them to decontamination, not for the first time now: the two Alteans tried to object, but they couldn’t waste time in useless fights, asking the other Paladins to talk to these primitives, as they too knew that Lance’s well-being was way more important.

Once they got declared clear, the two aliens rushed to the place were Lance had been taken,

_ please let us be in time, please, please _

Allura and Coran halted, as they found the distressed Paladins and Shiro white as ghosts, sweating with wide eyes that stared at a closed door.

_ Oh no. No no no no. No, please, no! _

Allura trembled, and Coran stepped forward, “is the boy..?”

Silence.

_ oh no no no n- _

“They think we got him in time..,” Shiro announced, swallowing the lump in his throat, “however,” he continued, “he may have suffered a heavy brain trauma, and...”

“And humans can’t always recover from that without drastic consequences” Pidge finished, scratching their forehead.

Keith just stared at the floor, as he silently sat on the uncomfortable chairs the Garrison had provided, elbows on his knees, left leg bouncing impatiently. The Paladin didn’t try to hide the fact that he was crying.

Hunk, on the other hand, was walking back and forth, whimpering, murmuring prayers and apologies, stopping every now and then to curse. 

“This is truly terrible..,” admitted Allura, as tears stroked down her delicate cheeks, “but he will make it, I’m… I am sure of it,” she sniffled, “L-Lance is strong… He will make it, without a single doubt” Allura finished, offering a weak, trembling smile. 

Coran gently put a warm hand on her shoulder, “I’m with the Princess” he said, “the lad’s spirit is indestructible, he won’t give up easily”.

Shiro just barely nodded, eyes still watery, “I really hope you are right...” he whispered.

After a few hours- three, Pidge had calculated- Shiro spoke again.

“I think we should all hit the showers and have something to eat… Lance wouldn’t want to find us like this” he reasoned.

Pidge smiled softly, “I just hope we’ll have time to fix his hair before he wakes up after surgery,” they added, the words ‘if he wakes up at all’ lingering, “or he’ll go berserk!”. The joke didn't have the desired effect, but it was appreciated nonetheless. After all, they could all use some fun now.

Nobody seemed to be listening to them anyway, and Pidge seemed to shrink, muttering an apology for the bad timing.

“It’s okay, Number Five… Lighting the mood is what we all need right now” Coran reassured the engineer, “you should listen to Shiro’s advice, perhaps…” he prompted. 

“You’re...” 

_ Covered in blood. _

_ Lance’s blood. _

The Green Paladin slowly nodded, seeming to get what the Altean man meant.

“I’ll be back soon” Pidge said getting up, “I’ll have a shower and get a computer, I need to see if I can help Lance, somehow”. Shiro only nodded. 

“In the meantime I shall fetch something to eat for you all,” Coran said, giving a quick yet comforting shoulder squeeze to Allura, “it’s almost night on this Planet, and you all have hardly touched any food today”. That said, he left without another word.

The Princess's eyes had not left the door of the operating theater since she had arrived, but she realized that she couldn't stay there without doing anything.

_ I have to do something… I need to help… I must do it for Lance. _

Allura got up, slowly, as Shiro turned his gaze to look at her.

“Princess, where are you-”

“I need to do something for Lance, Shiro” she interrupted him, “I can’t stay here any longer… Maybe,” she continued, “I could help with my quintessence”

“You did heal me before, after all...”

“Precisely. It’s not Lance’s physical wounds that worry me, as the medics surely have a better, deeper knowledge of the human body than Coran and I. It’s just... Shiro, I want Lance to be okay, I...” she trailed off, sobbing while drying her cheeks, “sorry”

“None of that,” he said “we are all sad, Allura… Keeping it all inside will only harm you” Shiro whispered softly, as he cried too.

The Princess gently pulled Shiro into a hug,

“Thank you, Allura”

“No,” she replied, smiling, “thank you”.

“I shall go now, I need a place where I can focus and see if… See how well I can feel Lance’s energy”

“Okay,” Shiro replied, “I’ll stay here with Keith and Hunk, see if I can get them to change their clothes… The sight of Lance’s blood is not helping them, I fear”.

More time passed, and the two Paladins who had stayed didn’t accept Shiro’s offer; they didn’t want to leave now. They had to make sure that Lance was fine.

Pidge had come back, and started furiously typing, looking for God knows what kind of solution.

It was almost midnight now, and they didn’t receive any news on Lance’s condition yet.

Keith’s eyes never left the door, as silent tears escaped his eyes every now and then.

_ Please, Lance… Voltron needs you… I need you, Lance, so much. I can't lose you too, I can't… I beg you, baby, come back to me... _

Hunk was restless, never growing tired.

Just as Shiro was about to excuse himself for a second, a doctor came out of the room; the woman had a sober expression, but worry was evident in her features.

The presents all shot up from their seats, frantic, and stepped close to the Doctor, 

“Hi, I’m Doctor Jace Stevenson-”.

“Is Lance okay!?” Hunk asked, on the verge of tears.

“He’s... alive,” she said, a bit overwhelmed by that sudden question, “however, the boy sustained numerous injuries” she affirmed, reading from a chart, “severe concussion, three broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, hip fracture, various cuts of medium depth and internal bleeding, probably caused by the crash itself, when the vehicle flipped” Doctor Stevenson stated grimly.

“Oh my God-”

“Will he recover!?”

“We are not sure about all the injuries; we managed to reduce the swelling, sew the most severe cuts, fix his hip and relocate his shoulder. But Lance’s not out of the woods yet, and will need to undergo physiotherapy for at least a couple of months for his hip and shoulder…”

“And about the concussion?” Keith asked gingerly, speaking for the first time.

“We are fairly sure he didn’t suffer from a major brain trauma, given the fact that now his pupils are reacting a bit better than before, and that he did talk, even if incoherently. Also, he doesn’t have any kind of paralysis, which makes us think he may recover pretty well” the Doctor said, giving time to the others to process as relieved smiles spread across their faces.

“But... I have the duty to inform you that he crashed two times during the surgery." 

“He… He crashed?” Shiro repeated, incredulous, “you mean-”

“His heart stopped beating, didn’t it.” Pidge said, more like a statement than a question.

“Yes, that is correct,” the Doctor confirmed, “it was for a relatively short time, though, and we managed to revive him without any consequences on his already strained body”

Silence filled the dark corridor.

“When will Lance wake up..?” Keith asked, as his eyes teared up.

“We have decided to put him into a medically-induced coma for a week, in order to give his body the time to recover, without any kind of mental and physical stress” she said, “furthermore, talking about recovery… We believe that a consultant needs to be found to ascertain his mental state, when he wakes up, I mean” she stated, “the loss of a loved one added to a physical trauma of that kind could destroy Lance”

“So...” Hunk whispered, “Veronica is..?”

“Dead, yes. I am so sorry, we tried everything we could, but she had already been dead for some hours- the coroner will find out more about it- and there was absolutely nothing we could do. Again, I’m sorry.” she said grimly, “Veronica… she was a friend of mine, too...” Doctor Stevenson whispered, “in the past few years, after Lance’s- no, your disappearance- we bonded. She was a great person”

“I’m so sorry, Doc...” Shiro said, putting a hand on the woman’s shoulder.

A tear escaped from her eyes, and she hurried to dry it, “I’m sorry, this- this is really unprofessional” she apologized.

“Mourning a loved one is not unprofessional, it’s… human”

Jace slowly raised her teal eyes, “Thank you for your understanding, mr Shirogane”

“Shiro’s just fine” he replied, smiling.

“Now, if you excuse me, I have some business to attend, but your friend will come out of the operating theater in less than twenty minutes, and I’ll see if I can find a way for you to visit him tomorrow afternoon” she finished, “does that sound good to you?”

“Perfect” the four said at the same time, “thank you so much” Keith added.

With that, Jace left, and the Paladins plus Shiro found themselves alone one more time.

They cried, God know for how long, hugging each other, sobbing loudly, not even acknowledging the other medics who left the room.

_ Lance is safe.  _

_ He’s going to be okay.  _

_ He’s alive. _

-

Shiro somehow managed to get Hunk and Keith to shower and change; Coran, who went back and forth, from Allura to the Paladins and vice versa, offered them a glass of water that they all drank greedily, falling asleep shortly after.

Coran smiled softly as he witnessed that this “tranquiliser” he’d found in a bathroom cabinet worked: they all needed to rest, because Lance was going to need them. With that thought, he fell asleep too, hoping for good news to come in the morning.

-

Keith opened his eyes groggily, not remembering much of the previous night after Jace left them. He looked down at himself, and witnessed that the clothes he had on were fresh and not covered in blood. He didn’t even remember falling asleep, but these things happen when you’ve just gone through a difficult time, he told himself.

It wasn’t even nine in the morning, but he was already impatient. Keith had to see Lance. He needed to. 

Just then, Shiro awoke too, soon followed by Allura, Hunk and Pidge. Coran had already left- Keith noticed- and had left them a note.

It read ‘helping tech team’ followed by the man’s signature.

“How are you?” Shiro asked, startling him, “oh, you were lost in your thoughts, I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine,” Keith cut him off, “I just want to make sure Lance’s okay”

“We all do” Hunk said, smiling kindly.

“Yesterday,” Allura started, “I tried to contact Lance through his quintessence, and...”

“And!?” Pidge asked impatiently.

“It is there” the Altean continued, “but it is so weak, vulnerable, exposed..,” the Princess continued “Lance must be hurting more than we could ever imagine”.

“We’ll help him...” Hunk offered, “it will be hard, so hard, but… But we’re family, right?”

“Yes,” Pidge spoke, “yes we are!”

Keith only smiled, for the first time in a while, and Shiro nodded vigorously, “we need to make sure that, when he wakes up, he doesn’t undergo too much stress…”

“But, what will we do with the funeral?”

“Funeral?” Allura questioned, “what is that?”

“It’s a ceremony to say the final goodbyes to someone that has passed… After that, you either bury the body or cremate it,” Shiro explained, “it will be up to Veronica’s family to choose...”

“I feel so sorry for Lance… Not only his sister died, but he won’t even be there to celebrate her life...” Pidge said, “this will destroy him”

“Unless”, Hunk said tentatively, “unless we find a way to freeze Veronica’s body for some days, until Lance wakes up and he’s coherent enough to take part to the funeral, if he’s up to it...”

“Cryogenics should work...” Keith muttered.

“But… won’t the delay only make it worse?” Allura said, “Lance’s family and himself too are suffering too much; waiting more time to say the last goodbye seems… cruel”

“That’s true” Pidge stated, “I must agree with Allura”

“Everyone, slow down” Shiro interrupted, “it’s up to Lance’s family”

“Yes, yes, of course” Hunk hurried, “sorry for bringing this up… I just wanted to help in some way...”

“It’s fine, Hunk” Pidge nodded knowingly, “we understand” she finished, hugging him.

A sound of steps could be heard far in the corridor, quick and light,

“Coran?” Allura said.

But she was soon met by Doctor Stevenson, who looked distressed.

“Oh- you must be Allura, the ginger guy told me about you-” she said, offering a hand, “Doctor Stevenson, nice to meet you”. Allura shook her hand as she smiled, “my pleasure”.

After that brief moment, Jace turned to the others, dead serious,

“I have to inform you that your friend has- somehow- awoken”

“What the fuck!?”

“Wasn’t he sedated!?”

“Yes! Yes he was, but an energy we’ve never seen acted up inside of him, and he woke up. I thought he was having a seizure, but… He was very much awake and aware of his surroundings, more or less. He’s sedated again now, but we suspect that-”

“His quintessence!” Allura exclaimed, “I… I must have awoken it by mistake! I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault!”

“Quin- what?” Jace asked, “is that an alien virus? Our scans didn’t detect anything and-”

“It’s not a virus, quite the contrary” Coran- who’d only just arrived- answered, “it’s a vital energy that all beings have within them; some stronger than others”

“So… It’s a good thing?”

“It really depends,” Allura continued, “I must check it again to be sure; I physically need to be close to Lance for a better result...”

“You may see him,” Jace offered, “come with me”.

As the group got into the room where Lance was recovering, they took a moment to observe the boy. Lance was unconscious, his face mostly relaxed; a restraint held the ankle on the uninjured hip side, and the same did the one on his hand. Wires were attached to his chest and head, monitoring his vitals with silent machines, except for the (luckily) steady beep of the heart monitor. An oxygen mask had been placed on the Cuban boy’s mouth and nose,

“We had to remove the tube that helped him breathe because there was the risk he could hurt himself during the thrashing” Jace said, without further interrupting the moment.

Lance was sweating quite a lot, but his temperature was almost down to normal, according to Doctor Stevenson.

“He’s hurting,” Shiro stated, “he must be struggling in the Astral Plane”

“The- the what?” Jace asked.

“A place where the mind goes when the body is in great danger, or where someone can better reach their quintessence and use it to repair damage” Hunk explained.

“Oh, I...I understand” the Doctor said, “...Kind of” she corrected herself.

“Allura, can you help him?” Pidge questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“I believe I can, but I need some time”

“You can’t go alone, though. I’ll c-”

“No, Shiro” Keith interrupted, “I will go with Allura”

“Keith-”

“You haven’t exactly had any contact with quintessence lately, but I did," he said, "and Lance...” he trailed of, and shakily breathed out “I love him, more than you all do. No offense, Hunk”

“Mine’s more of a brotherly love, I understand” Hunk said, smiling.

"Alright, then, you shall come with me, Keith, and you others will have to make sure that we don't get sucked completely into the Astral Plane" Allura declared, smiling.

"Give me a moment, I'll go fetch two more cots!" Doctor Stevenson exclaimed.

"I'll help" Pidge said, as they left with Doctor Jace in a hurry.

"Will you be okay?" Hunk asked Keith and Allura.

"Yes," the boy said confidently, "and we'll bring Lance back, as good as new"

"Thank you man, for caring so much. He's my oldest friend, and I… I can't lose him!"

"You won't," Keith reassured, "Lance is the person he is mostly because he had you during his most difficult years. So, we can say that, in a way, I love him because of you" 

"Aw, you're making me blush now!" Hunk muttered jokingly.

Allura and Keith lied down onto the cots, as the others left them their space and privacy.

"For Lance…" Allura whispered.

"Yes, for Lance" Keith smiled.

And with that, they passed out, ready to rescue the lost Paladin.


	4. no es real - it's not real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Keith find Lance.

The first thing that Keith registered when he came to was the lightness of his own body.

He didn't even try to open his eyes as he sat; under his gloved hands, he felt something flat and cold.

"Keith, are you awake?"

_ Allura? _

The boy slowly opened his eyelids, and found the Altean princess standing before him,

"Are you with me?"

"Yes" he replied, still gathering his surroundings.

_ Right, right: get Lance back. _

"Good," Allura said, "we've successfully entered the Astral Plane, and even if I cannot see Lance, he must be somewhere close"

As the girl talked, Keith looked around: the stars lit the pitch dark sky above them, and the surface they were standing on reflected everything, just like water.

"Let's go find him," Keith begun, "I don't like the idea of him staying here alone for too long"

"Me neither… Do not worry, we will get Lance back" Allura said, placing a warm hand on the boy's broad shoulders, as he smiled softly, "Thank you, Princess".

As the two walked straight forward- not knowing which direction it was- they began to hear a faint sound of laughter.

"This is not Lance," Allura started, a bit confused.

"No, it's not… This is…"

They stopped dead on their tracks as one hand was placed on their shoulders.

"Hey guys!" 

_ Lance..? _

Keith turned around, white as a sheet, eyes widening, as he noticed that his surroundings had changed: instead of the usual Astral Plane, there was a stunning beach: pale sand, fluorescent turquoise water, gigantic straw beach-umbrellas, and finally, a small bar- structure made of wood- where gigantic speakers were blasting party music. Finally, the sky, maybe the most stunning view of all: it was tinged in salmon-pink and navy blue, as the sun was slowly making its way downside.

"Lance?" Keith said, trembling despite the boiling heat.

"Yes, mi cariño" he answered, looking at his boyfriend as if he had a third eye, "are you okay?" 

"What?" Keith asked, incredulous. 

_ Is he really asking me that..? _

Lance was looking good: given that he was wearing only a pair of blue swim trunks, an opened white shirt and flip flops, the majority of his skin was bare, visibly healthy, with no scars nor casts on it.

On Lance's tanned face, a goofy smile replaced his previously concerned look, as he smirked.

"Man, you look upset… And you too, Allura!" he laughed, "do you feel intimidated by THIS body right here?" he asked mockingly, showing his guns in a dramatic pose, still laughing.

They didn't even where to start from, "Lance, oh my goodness, what is-"

"Hey, what's going on here?" asked someone who wasn't in Keith and Allura's vision field yet, as their face was blurred and hidden by one of the last rays of the sun.

"Vien aquí, Keith and Allura have just arrived!" Lance said cheerfully.

The two looked at each other, baffled, as they trembled slightly, fearing what was coming.

_ This cannot be happening... _

The fourth figure finally came into light, and Keith almost felt like passing out, only being held up by Allura: in front of them, there was a very much alive Veronica, wearing a pink top and a floral sarong; she was smiling and approaching them calmly, holding up a hand on her forehead to block out the light.

"Finally, the party's just about to start!" she chirped excitedly.

"Hey, hey, hold on! We must wait for the others first" Lance replied.

"Of course! In the meantime, would you like something to drink, guys?"

_ This is madness! _

Allura swallowed the lump in her throat, and spoke for the first time in a while, as Keith wasn't looking so good at the moment.

"Lance, are you okay!?" 

The boy looked at his sister, wide-eyed, and then back at the Princess, 

"Yeah, why are you asking me that?" 

"Because…"

"On the other hand, Keith, cariño, you look like crap! Are you tired already?"

"He must be!," Veronica intervened, "come, Keith, sit down; I'll get you a soda, okay?".

The boy clenched his fists, regaining his composure as much as he could manage; this was nonsense.

What was this place?

How could Veronica even be there? 

The officer was dead! He had seen her, they all did. 

And Lance…

Lance was...

His body was wrecked, and his mind was… Keith didn't even know how to describe it.

"What the fuck are you two talking about!?" he finally snapped, regretting his strong language immediately but not giving that away.

"Keith!" Lance exclaimed, "what the hell was that for!?"

"This is… This place isn't even real, man! And you… and her..!" he said, pointing at Veronica, "this is insane!"

Allura stood there, looking around, trying to gather more information on the place.

_ The energy is the same one I felt when I arrived, so I am sure this still is the Astral Plane… _

_ I can feel Keith's and my own quintessence, and they emanate the same, usual aurea. _

_ But Lance's… _

_ Lance's quintessence is blooming..!  _

_ He is creating this place and a fake Veronica, probably based off his own memories. _

_ There MUST be a way to let him understand that this is not real without him going into some kind of shock. _

"Hey! Earth to Allura?" 

"Ah! I'm sorry, Lance…" she apologized, "I need to speak to Keith for a tic" 

"Alright..," the Cuban boy exhaled, "oh, and if you got a way to call the others and ask them where they are, please do so!" he added, backing away to reach the bar again with his sister.

As the two left, Allura slowly turned to Keith, whose face was hard to read at the moment: he looked angry, concerned and terrified at once, as his eyes shone with tears that couldn't find a way out.

"Keith, look at me" Allura begun, "pl-"

"He's… He's going crazy, isn't he?"

"No! No, Keith, he is not"

"Then..," he whispered, "why is he doing this?" Keith asked, gesturing to the beach, "why can he not realize that this is all a sick mind trip of his? Why won't he listen to me?"

"He's hurting, Keith, but he does not realize that now" Allura explained, "and we can't just 'kidnap' Lance and take him back to the real world yet"

"Why is that..?"

"Do you want your partner to end up in shock? This could leave him catatonic for months, for years, or maybe for the rest of his existence!" Allura burst out, losing her temper for a bit.

"I'm..," Keith shrugged "sorry"

"No, I am… I shouldn't have yelled and said those brutalities"

"But you are right, Allura," the boy admitted, "I just… Don't know how to handle all of this… Loss, grieving and all" 

"I understand," the Princess said, a look of condescence in her blue eyes, "you can work on that, though"

"Yeah, I should…" he said, smiling timidly, "but now we gotta help Lance"

"Yes, I agree… I have been studying this situation for some time now: Lance is using his own quintessence to create this, and this is slowly taking him further from us"

"So we must act quickly"

"Precisely," Allura asked, "we just have to find a flaw in this fake reality, and then guide Lance back to us"

"So," Keith said, crossing his arms, "the best thing we can do is play along and observe?"

"Yes, I believe so!"

"Alright… Let's do this!"

As the rescuers went back to the bar on the beach, they heard loud music, and saw Lance trying to make cocktails as he spilled liquor all over himself.

"Ay, apestas, hermano!," Veronica exclaimed, laughing, "oh, they're back!"

"Hey, love, are you feeling better?" Lance asked, removing his dirty shirt and going to Keith.

"All good… Sorry about before, babe" he replied, smiling forcefully, never taking his eyes off Lance,

_ I haven't seen him this happy for weeks… _

"It's okay, Keith," Veronica said, "it happens! Now, it's party time!"

"And the others?" Lance asked, "don't we wait for them?"

"They said they're late because of… Huh..," Allura begun, "something about marmalade among the streets..?"

"It's traffic jam," Keith told her, "but yeah, that's the reason… Oh, and they said to start anyway"

"Ow, that's a pity!" Lance said, "but okay, I won't go against their will..!" he added, sarcastic.

The young officer burst into laughter, "never miss the chance to party, huh?"

"You know me, sis!" he replied, while giving his sister an uncoordinated high-five.

Allura smiled, still looking around,

_ Quiznak, this place is flawless!  _ she thought, as she looked at the realism of the waves, the sand, the sky and all,

_ This will be so much harder than we thought… _

After almost four hours in that place, Keith started to get tired of this pitiful play: Lance was still dying and didn't seem to realize it.

But Keith couldn't just snap, he knew that.

_ I need to work something out, fast..! _

"So, Allura, you were telling me about your family..." Veronica asked, idly sipping a 'sex on the beach', "what happened to them?"

"It is a very, very long story," the Altean princess begun, "a story for a different occasion, maybe-"

The chatter was interrupted by the sound of broken glass and a fallen stool,

"Guys," Keith said, "look at the sun!"

"What about it?" Veronica asked confused, "it's just a sunset… And a nice one"

Allura stared at Keith too, and then turned her gaze towards the star, realizing what the boy was referring to.

"Keith, cariño, are you okay today?" Lance asked, worried, "You seem so out of it!"

Allura gently patted Keith's shoulder, 

"Lance," the boy begun calmly, "how long have we been here?"

"Huh, I guess something like three vargas, why?" 

"The sun was already going down when Allura and I got here… Where have you seen a sunset last this long on Earth?"

Lance shrugged, "you're being awkward-"

"No, no," Keith insisted, grabbing Lance's shoulder firmly but carefully enough to avoid hurting him, "babe, think of what I said, please"

Lance stood there, as Veronica didn't even seem to change facial expression,

"Okay, sure, it's weird, but it may hap-"

"It cannot happen, Lance, not on your planet" Allura said, "and as a brilliant pilot and space explorer, I am sure you do know the basics of astronomy"

"She is right, Lance…" Keith nodded, "does that seem realistic to you?" he said, not letting go of his boyfriend.

Lance blinked slowly, as he looked at Keith and at the sunset back and forth, as his stomach tied up in a painful knot,

"...no" he answered, voice barely audible.

"And, Veronica," Allura called looking at the young officer, "do you remember that conversation we had when we met for the first time ever?" 

The two girls, in fact, had spent a fairly long time alone in Veronica's room at the Garrison, making parallels between Earth and Altea: costumes, food, roles, and all.

The Princess already knew something about Earth, as she had spent some years with the paladins- she swore she would never forget how milkshakes were made; Veronica, on the other hand, didn't know much of Altea, if not things she'd been told by Captain Holt when he had returned to Earth after his abduction years prior.

The two were alone into that room, and there was no way that Lance could've heard them.

"No, I don't" Veronica simply admitted, never stopping to smile.

Allura, disturbed by that lack of emotion,

_ she's not the real one, she's not the real one, she's not t-, _

turned to Lance once again, 

"Do you want to know why she doesn't remember?"

Lance swallowed, eyes wide and face pale "why?"

"Because she isn't real" Keith said, calmly, as a tear threatened to fall on his cheek, "none of this is real, Lance…"

_ please, understand.. _

"What the fuck are you saying..?" Lance asked, an eyebrow up and one down, smirking and sweating, as an image of Veronica, sprawled on her back, bloodied and dead flashed before him,

_ not true not true not true _

"Lance, this is all in your head. A modified memory that we have infiltrated to come and rescue you-"

Lance grabbed his boyfriend's collar, and shoved him back, freeing himself from Keith's grip, 

"It doesn't make any fucking sense!" he screamed,

_ explosion, blood, car crash, blood, fight the Galra, blood, Veronica dead, blood- STOP _

"Please, Lance..!"

"Don't you 'Lance' me!" said boy snapped, "this… This doesn't make any sense!" he said, face sweaty as teeth clenched, "this IS real"

_ she’s dead dead dead dead dead dead _

"Lance! Look at Veronica," the Allura pleaded as calmly as she could, "look, she's not even reacting to anything"

“You’re a liar!”

_ she’s dead dead dead, and I’m mad mad mad- QUIT IT! _

"Allura..!" Keith pleaded.

The Altean Princess sighed, "sorry, Lance, but I fear there may not be another way for you to understand" she said, as she grabbed a knife that had been used to cut lemons for drinks, "Keith, would you?"

"Yes," he replied, approaching the Princess,

"No, Allura, put that down! Allura!" Lance screamed, petrified,

_ ah, just like that piece of metal that was stuck in Veronica's abdomen- NOT AGAIN _

"Fear not, Lance" she simply said, and proceeded to cut his own and Keith's palms: not a single blood drop came out of their skin, "see?"

The sharpshooter didn't move, he was utterly terrified: cold ran down his spine, as he slowly stepped back, further from the other people.

"Lance, talk to me," Keith pleaded, trying to reach out for the boy in the most non-threatening way possible, "I beg you-"

_ no no no, ¿qué está pasando? No comprendo…  _

"Lance?" Keith called, as his boyfriend grabbed his own hair, and sank to his knees,

_ estoy en la playa con mi hermanita... _

“Lance, babe, please..!” 

_ ...y todo es bueno… _

“Keith, step back!” Allura screamed, alarmed.

_ ¿verdad? _

For an instant, time seemed to be frozen: Lance slowly raised his shaking head, and anxiously looked at the people before his eyes. 

Keith and Allura were concerned, visibly worried for him, as they tried to obtain some kind of reaction from the poor boy.

Veronica, on the other hand…

She seemed… Unreal. Artificial. 

Still as porceain doll, the young officer hadn’t changed her facial expression since the last time she had spoken: that fake smile hadn’t left her face yet, and those cerulean blue eyes seemed unfocused and fogged.

_ It’s almost like when… _

“... she died” Lance said, barely whispering, lips curling up in a pained grin,

“She is dead, right?,” he asked, slowly standing up, knees buckling.

Keith sighed mournfully, “Yes… Lance… I’m so sorry...”

Allura looked away, the sight of a broken Lance too hurtful for her to tollerate.

Keith just stood there, eyes low, and ready to comfort his partner as much as he could in such a bad situation.

‘Bad’ was actually just an euphemism: this was a tragedy. 

There was no possible happy ending here, no lesson to learn, nothing to laugh about in the future.

So Keith braced himself, and took a shaky breath: he needed to be there for Lance; he couldn’t let him pick up his dejection. 

But the sound of a desperate cry never came.

Instead, a bubbling laughter echoed, and it slowly turned into a maniacal scream, making both Keith and Allura look up in utter shock, only to see Lance contorted as he wrapped his own arms around his torso, tears staining his grinning face,

“Lance..?” Allura begun, “wh-”

“Oh, this is just hilarious!,” the Cuban boy screamed, without stopping to laugh, “no puedo creerlo, I’m so fucking stupid!”

“Lance, no, stop-”

“Hah, ‘stop’? ‘Stop’ what, excactly, huh, Keith?” he asked, sneeringly, “Stop being pathetic? Stop being useless?”, he continued, walking towards Veronica,

“But this is MY place to be, and I rule here!”

“Lance, I beg you, quit it!” Keith screamed, upset as never before, “let us take you back!” 

“Back?” Lance murmured, sobering up for an instant, “but I don’t want to go back, Keith”.

At that, all hell broke loose: loud thunders started to tear the sky apart, as the wind wrecked everything it encountered, shredding it into pieces, and a hot- oh, too hot!- liquid fell from the sky; the sea looked like a boiling oil well, as tar stained the once white sand.

The floor shook uncontrollably, 

“Lance, please!” screamed Allura, “stop this now!”

But he didn’t seem to hear her; instead, he walked calmly and grabbed Veronica’s hand, “Hermanita..?”

“Sí, ¿qué pasa?” she replied, smiling and completely unbothered by what was happening, “Lance?”

“Yo… Lo siento mucho por todo...”

“¿De qué estás hablando? ”

“Veronica..,” he said, holding her close, as strong as he could, “Yo…”

“Yo te maté,” Lance weeped, “¡Soy un desastre, un pedazo de mierda! He hecho nada más que cosas malas desde que volví...”

As the boy hugged his sister, he could hear the panicked screams of Keith and Allura… He wanted to help them; they were his family too. 

But he coulnd’t let go of Veronica either; if Lance did, he knew he would never be able to see her like this ever again.

“Lance!” Keith yelled, in pain, as he crouched down, holding for dear life onto his partner’s ankle, “I beg you… You have to let her go! I...”

Lance looke down at him, swallowing a lump in his throat, 

“I can’t lose you too” they both murmured, making eye contact for the first time in a while.

“Veronica, te quiero tanto,” Lance said, stepping back slowly and returning his gaze to his sister, “no voy a olvidarte nunca, hermanita” he sniffled, smiling softly, as fat, hot tears rolled down his red cheeks.

Just like that, everything froze, and in the blink of an eye, it was all gone.

Lance sank to his knees, staring at his bare hands placed on his lap.

_ It’s all over now…  _

_ She’s gone. _

_ Forever. _

“Lance…” Keith called, quietly, as he noticed that they were back in the Astral Plane they all knew, “I’m sorry” he whispered, as he sat next to his boyfriend and hold him tight as he grieved and weeped.

Allura stood a few meters behind them, in order to give the two some well-deserved privacy, as she smiled kindly, tears in her eyes.

They didn’t know for how long they had stayed like that, with Keith caressing Lance’s soft and ruffled hair, as the Cuban boy kept crying. Lance kept apologizing, almost like a mantra now, rocking back and forth as Keith cradled him in his arms. The other boy held him, whispering comfort words, kissing his nape now and then.

It was not going to be okay.

Veronica had died in her brother’s arms; for that, Lance was going to need more help than what the Paladins and his family could give him.

The boy was fragile now, mentally and physically, and not even his persona would be able to hide that.

Lance, the most unselfish, self-sacrificing, loving person that they had ever known was beyond destroyed.

Keith would never forget himself for leaving him alone during that mission; Allura would never forgive herself either for allowing this mission to even start.

The Japanese boy sniffled too, never letting go.

_ It’s going to be hard. _

_ But we’re back together, safe, and to me, that is all that matters. _


	5. aceptación - acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance faces the harsh truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the delay!  
Not my favourite chapter, so, I'm sorry if it isn't as good as the others.  
Hopefully something decent came out in the end.  


“Hunk, please, sit down,” Shiro pleaded desperately, as the Yellow Paladin hadn’t stopped pacing since Allura and Keith had entered the Astral Plane, 

“They’re all gonna be okay, I promise!”

“But- oh God- but what if they’re not?," Hunk trembled, stomach more upset than normal,

"What if they can’t find Lance? What if they can’t take him back? And what if they can’t find a way out? Or if-”

“Hunk!,” Pidge yelled, holding the Samoan boy's broad shoulders with their tiny hands, “They’ll be okay! Allura’s not an idiot, she wouldn’t have gone in there if she hadn’t known what she was doing,” she said calmly, “and Keith’s smart too! They’ll figure it out, alright?”

“But what about L-”

“And!-” the Green Paladin added, interrupting the taller boy, “Lance will be okay too!”

“Number Five is absolutely right, you do not have to worry, big guy,” Coran intervened, “plus, they have only been gone for six vargas at most...” the Altean man added, glancing at his ticker.

“Coran, how can you say ‘only six vargas’? Seriously, ‘only’!? The word 'only' is used for small, irrelevant, inconsistent things! Six vargas is not 'only'! Oh God, six vargas! That’s an eternity! Oh shit, I feel sick-”

“Hunk, please, calm down!” Shiro instructed, grabbing a bucket originally destined for Lance, just to be safe, and placing it within reach, 

“if you get sick, you won’t be able to help in case of emergency-”

“Hah! So you do admit that there may be an emergency!” 

Everybody just sighed, exhausted, even if they did understand what Hunk was going through.

“My boy, please-” Coran begun

“Guys-” Dr Jace Stevenson called, tentatively.

“I’m so scared, this- this is a nightmare! My best friend is dying and m-my other friends too, and-” Hunk continued, speaking faster than ever, bending down and placing his hands on his shaking knees, "oh God oh no-".

Shiro got up, taking the bucket with him now, “please, Hunk, don't panic-”

“Hey, guys?” Stevenson tried another time, only to be interrupted once again. 

“Hunk, trust us” Pidge added, rubbing soothing circles on the boy's shoulder.

“Why would we lie to y-”

Jace clenched her fists, and cupped her hands around her mouth. 

“Oh for fuck's sake- Guys!” 

“What!?” they all replied at once, surprised and slightly annoyed.

The woman exhaled, fixing her glasses on her nose, “I wanted to tell you your friends’ vitals are all stable and indicate that they're fine...”

“See, Hunk? Allura and Keith are okay,” Shiro said, smiling slightly.

“I mean,” the medic pointed at Lance’s scans “all of them..!”

“You mean..?” Pidge begun, hesitant.

_ please let him be okay _

“Yes,” Dr Jace smiled, “your friends, Allura and Keith- right?. They made it, they brought your friend back" she replied, relaxing her shoulders.

“I knew they would’ve made it!” Hunk yelled, as happy tears pricked at his hazel eyes.

Pidge just rolled theirs and laughed mockingly. 

“Oh, really? Weren’t you just ab-”

The Green Paladin's sentence was roughly interrupted by Keith, Lance and Allura’s sudden yells as they came to, mouths gaping as their chests heaved for air. It happened in the blink of an eye, really, as they went from a vegetative state to panting messes, sitting up on the cots, sweating, groaning.

“Oh my God- GUYS!” Pidge yelled, scared but happy, tears at the corners of their big hazel eyes.

The others, still shocked, gathered around the three, trying to get a word out of them, with no result.

“Lance, oh man, buddy, oh God you’re okay, you’re okay...” Hunk consoled the panting boy, whose eyes were glassy and wide, “we got you, it’s going to be okay”, the Samoan boy added, cradling the other in his big arms.

After a few minutes during which anybody in the room was just too overwhelmed to speak anything sensed, Lance’s mumbles became audible again,

“I’m so-sorry, estoy bien, I’m so sorry, I’m okay, perdónenme por f-favor...” the boy whispered, lowering his gaze, not daring to meet anyone’s eyes.

“Lance, babe, look at me,” Keith prompted, “please-”

As Dr Stevenson was about to step out of the room, in order to leave the group some well-deserved privacy, someone fiercely knocked on the door.

Everybody present exchanged confused look, but the banging didn’t stop,

“Allow me,” Shiro said, and quietly opened the door, stopping dead on his tracks at the people before him: it was Lance’s parents.

In a split second, Shiro took a good look at them: their eyes were puffy and red from crying- Shiro thought- and they were shaking: was it anger? Sadness? Both?

“¿¡Dónde está mi niño!?” the middle aged woman screamed, face strained hair messy, “Where is Lance!?”

_ Anger, definitely anger,  _ Shiro thought.

As she said so, her gaze fell on her son, still too fuzzy-headed to even lift his eyes,

“¡Lance, mi amor! What did they do to you, mijo!?”.

The Cuban boy remained still, glassy-eyed, as if he wasn’t even there yet, muttering apologies to nobody in particular.

“What’s going on? Why won’t he answer me? What have you done to my poor Lance!” the woman screamed angrily, elbowing everybody in the way and getting to Lance’s bedside, “mi amor, ¿puedes oírme? You..! ¿Qué le has hecho a mi hijo?” she screamed, eyeing Jace.

“Ma’am, please, calm down,” Dr Stevenson replied, her tone calm and focused, “my name’s Doctor Jace Stevenson. If you could kindly listen for a sec-”

“Why are they still in here!? They’re the ones who are responsible for all of this!” the tall man- Lance’s father- inquired, eyes seeming to be about to pop out of their sockets. 

Keith glanced at them, swallowing, but before he could speak, Hunk intervened timidly. 

"W-we are Lance’s friends and fellow Paladins of Voltr-"

"You bastards killed my daughter! And almost killed my son too!” the man screamed in Hunk’s face, stucking his big and callous index in the boy’s chest.

Shiro quietly stepped forward, eyes pleading guilty, 

“Sir, we are sorry, we-”

“Get the fuck out, ¡ahora mismo!” the woman screamed, pointing her shaky finger toward the Paladins and Coran.

The Altean man helped Allura stand, as she was still drowsy, and Shiro did the same with Keith, who not only seemed physically tired, but also emotionally hurt.

As they all quickly stepped out of the room, muttering an apology, they tried to take one last look at Lance: he was so, so small, still as a corpse, sitting rigidly as his clenched fists rested on his knees… 

Was he really  _ okay _ ?

Of course he wasn't,  _ not even close _ .

Keith, the last one to leave, quietly got to the doorframe with the help of his adoptive brother, and he stared at his unconscious boyfriend with worried eyes; he swallowed the hard lump that had formed again in his throat, and gently tried to talk to Lance’s parents.

_ What can I even say? _

_ This is... _

“I’m sorry...” he whispered.

“You!” Lance’s father screamed as he reached him with only two large steps, shoving Shiro aside and roughly grabbing Keith by the collar of his shirt, lifting the boy up a few inches from the floor, much to everyone's surprise,

“You are to stay away from my son till the rest of your fucking days,  got it?” 

“Hey! Put him down this instant!” Pidge intervened, stepping in front of Hunk who was still shaking. Allura followed them immediately, equally infuriated. 

“Yes, let our friend go!” 

The man looked at Keith- face pained in discomfort and sadness- but still as a statue, and then he lowered his cold eyes, staring at the two paladins.

“Take this fucker out of my sight..,” he exhaled, releasing the grip, “out, now!”

Only then, Lance met Keith's desperate eyes, 

“...K-Keith...” he whispered, voice hoarse.

Before Keith could reply,

_ I have to tell him how much I love him... _

_ I almost lost him, again, I can’t- _

Lance’s father violently shut the door behind them, only allowing Dr Stevenson inside.

“Keith, listen, he-” Shiro begun, trying to comfort the young Paladin.

He was shook to see the Japanese boy sniffling quietly, as the others stared too, mouths agapes.

“Oh, Keith...”

“I’m fine." the boy hurried, quickly drying his face with his sleeves, “I’m fine, I’m sorry, I’m-”

He was interrupted by Hunk, who enveloped his friend in a warm hug, “Keith, it’s okay to cry,” he whispered, "it's alright".

Keith nodded silently in Hunk’s chest, and slowly melted down, crying loudly, muttering incoherent words every now and then- apologies to the others, to Lance, to his parents- and letting his body sink slowly.

-

When the door opened again, a couple of hours later, Keith had been forced to go sit on one of the plastic chairs, even though he had regained his composure a bit soon after his breakdown; Pidge and Hunk sat at his sides, and Shiro was discussing with the two Alteans about any possible way to help Lance recover, both physically and mentally.

Lance’s parents spared the others looks of disgust and hate, and hurried to leave.

Jace exited the room, and closed the door behind herself, sighing. 

“You guys are in big trouble...”

"What did they say?" Shiro asked Dr Stevenson,

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. Professional secrecy’s states that-"

"Please," Keith whispered, pleading, "I am his family too! And so are the others, Doctor.”

“I-I know, but...” Jace stuttered, “well, they w-”

She stopped, speechless, as she heard the door opening again: Lance, pale as a sheet and trembling more than a leaf during a storm, stood in the doorway behind her, leaning heavily on the doorframe, 

“Lance, what are you doing!” Hunk yelled, rushing to his friend’s side, who weakly tried to pull away,

“I need to s-see 'ronica now” he said, voice still rough.

Everybody exchanged worried looks,

_ Please, no, not again... _ Keith pleaded in his head.

“Lance...”

“I know..,” the Cuban boy replied quietly, 

_ I know she’s dead... _

“Buddy, you need to rest. You’re still badly hurt, badly” Pidge said, worriedly.

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded, “you don’t look so good...”

_ Brilliant statement… _

“I need'a see her n-now,” he repeated, absent-mindedly, “now."

“Okay, okay love.” Keith answered in a soothing voice, looking at Dr Stevenson.

On cue, she cleared her throat, "This way, please”.

She started walking down the nearly empty corridor, 

“We’re keeping her body in a cryogenic pod that will allow her body to remain intact... ” she explained as the others followed her, slow and silent, eyes darting to Lance every now and then, “but I have to warn you, even though we stitched her wounds, her body still looks beaten and the bruises started to tumefy before she got to us”

“Thanks for the warning, Doc” Shiro replied, smiling grimly.

-

Once they entered the morgue, the team stepped a couple of meters away from the dead girl: Veronica was laying in a cryogenic pod so graciously that she seemed asleep, with her arms folded on her lap and her head facing up; her skin was pale and marked by purple angry bruises, but the white suit she had on covered the majority of them.

Lance stepped forward, as the shield above the girl went down,

“Veronica..,” he whispered, gingerly brushing her hand with his own trembling one, “lo- lo siento mucho... Pero d-disculparse no ayudará, ¿v-verdad?” Lance added, chuckling lightly.

“Mamá y papá están desesperados... Me odian por ha-haberte puesto en peligro. Es mi culpa; mi León no vino... Porque nuestra union es... Débil p-por mi c-culpa”.

The Cuban boy stopped, sighing and choking down a sob, as the others stood silently, paying respect to the victims,

“Yo no soy d-digno. Creo que- que tampoco seré un Paladín o un hombre vivo. No valgo la pena,” he added, slowly sinking to his knees, never letting go of Veronica’s dead-weighted hand, “Me gustaría haber sido y-yo… Yo no soy nada. Ojalá es-estuvieras aquí, o yo allí…” Lance cried, tears rolling on his sunken cheeks, whole body shaking.

Keith had studied Spanish, but couldn’t really understand anything Lance was saying, if not some random words; nevertheless, he approached his boyfriend, and wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, whispering comforting words that, however, fell on deaf ears.

“Ahora no... No vale a pena vivir más, 'ronica” Lance sobbed, rocking his body and panting heavily through his criying, that had become more and more desperate with each word he choked on, “Adios, hermanita”.

With that, he abandoned himself in Keith’s arm, trying to get his breathing under control again.

Keith gently caressed his boyfriend’s hair, kissing his nape every now and then, trying to calm him down.

The others, one at the time, said goodbye to Veronica for the last time.

Lance stayed on the morgue’s floor for hours, Keith never leaving his side, as he eventually calmed down and, exhausted, fell asleep.

-

He didn’t go to Veronica’s funeral the next morning.

He didn’t try to get up from his hospital bed.

He didn’t eat the food that Hunk brought him.

He didn’t play the board game Pidge had taken to his room.

He didn’t thank Allura and Coran for saying their condoleances.

He didn’t accept Shiro’s offer to take him outside in the garden on a wheelchair.

He didn’t accept Keith’s soft cuddles.

He blocked everyone out.

-

After a couple of days, Dr Jace and the nurses basically force-fed him, as the IVs weren’t enough to help his wounds to heal properly, as Keith sat by his side, encouraging him.

-

After a week, helped by a therapist that stayed with him for a couple of hours every day, he finally rasped out some words- Hunk and Shiro cried at that- and even if it wasn’t much, it meant a lot: he was healing.

-

After ten days, he gingerly caressed Keith’s black and soft hair, and accepted as his boyfriend kissed him gently on the cheek.

-

After two weeks, he found the force to yell at his parents for mistreating his friends, the new family he had been in for years now.

Lance’s parents, maybe to please their son, or maybe because they felt ashamed for their behaviour, apologized to everybody, and avoided to visit Lance when his friends were present, in order to give them some privacy.

-

After twenty days, he was allowed to leave the Garrison’s hospital, and walk around on his own as long as he used crutches and someone was beside him. He moved to Keith’s house, as it was empty and near the Garrison, in case of emergency.

The first place Lance went to, was the florist.

His second stop, was the cemetery.

Lance begged Keith to wait outside, admitting that he didn’t want the man he loved to see him in his most vulnerable moments.

Keith of course wouldn’t have judged him for being vulnerable, but stepped back and allowed Lance to have his privacy.

-

A month and a half later, Lance was forced by Keith to go see a psychologist twice a week, as the Cuban boy had started to suffer from bursts of unexplained anger and violence.

Once, Lance hit a glass coffeetable with his crutch, stumbling for an instant but not breaking anything nor hurting himself. But that didn't matter. Using his crutch as a baseball bat, Lance decided to smash the coffeetable- Keith had never ran to a room that fast- and everything on it, yellling as a mad man, slicing his leg with a shard. He stopped only because Keith had grabbed him from under his armpits and forcefully dragged him away from that.

-

Lance woke up regularly during the night, kicking and screaming, sweating and panting.

He never talked about his nightmares with Keith, who- nevertheless- always comforted him, helping him shower even if it was 3AM and fetching him a cup of herbal tea.

He talked about his nightmares to his psychologist, though.

He tried to.

-

The first results of Lance’s therapy showed about a couple of months after Veronica’s death: the kind and smart psychologist that was helping the boy managed to convince him to talk about his feelings, emotions and nightmares not only to Keith, but to his parents and friends too.

Lance felt lighter. 

Safer.

Happier.

Better.

He was feeling better after a long, long time.

The burst of anger decreased of quantity and intensity, and he almost never woke up during the night for nightmares.

He was trying his best.

He visited the cemetery regularly, and talked to Veronica for hours. He also visited his family and sometimes stayed over for the night, playing with his nephews and helping his other siblings to feel better.

He still felt guilty.

But he knew that Veronica made her own decisions: she wanted to come with Lance, and nothing nor nobody could have stopped her.

He still missed her and mourned over her loss.

But he knew he was healing.   
Lance knew it, and for once in a long time, he believed it for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Lance's speech: 
> 
> "Veronica, I'm so sorry... But apologizing won't help, right? (...) Mom and dad are desperate. They hate me cause I put you in danger. It's my fault; my Lion didn't come because our connection is weak because of me. (...) I'm not worth it. I think I'm not even a Paladin nor a living man. I'm not worth it. (...) I wish that had been me... I am nothing. I wish you were here, or that I was there... (...) Now living is worthless. (...) Goodbye, sister".
> 
> Thanks, reverso context!  
Oh, and I'll be publishing a VLD oneshot that I have already posted on tumblr some months ago, so check my dashboard later, please!
> 
> ALSO, very important, shout-out to my psychologist friend who puts so much effort and passion in what she does; I love you!  
Thanks to all the kind therapists out there, you are appreciated!


	6. lluvia - rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> five years later, Lance's still broken-hearted... May the rain wash his pain away

It was never easy. Not for the past five years.

Keith had gotten to terms with that; he learnt how to handle the situation when it got bad, especially during the immediate days before and after the anniversary of Veronica’s death.

The Japanese man learnt that the right way to deal with his husband wasn’t talking to him, telling him that everything would be okay, that his sister was in a better place, and that he’d done everything he could. No.

That year wasn’t different from the previous one: a couple of days before Veronica’s death anniversary, Lance woke up drenched in sweat, screaming, tears streaking his reddened face, hyperventilating.

“Lance, Lance, what’s wrong?” asked Keith, rubbing circle’s on the man’s back, “Hey, you need to breathe, love. You know you’re gonna pass out if you go on like this”.

“K-Keith, I- I can’t...” Lance cried betwen choked gasps, “it hurts.”

“I know, love, I know. But you need to breathe nonetheless,” the man whispered, taking his loved one’s hand and placing it on his own chest, “follow my rhythm… In… Out… In… Out… Come on, Lance, just like this”

“She- she- Keith, God, it’s-”

“I know babe, I know… Breathe, just breathe”

“I’m t-telling you I c-can’t do it!” Lance yelled, swinging his legs down the bed, followed by Keith who went in front of him.

“Do you need me to... Call an ambulance, maybe?” Keith asked, concerned: the first time this happened, Keith and Lance weren’t even married, but already lived together. 

While they were sleeping, Lance woke up yelling, upset and infuriated, so much that he ended up passing out and hitting his head on the bedside table. Keith was in utter shock for that, and Lance had to spend the anniversary in a hospital bed, just like he did when Veronica had died.

After that accident, Keith started keeping a close eye on Lance during the infamous week, phone always within reach.

“N-no, no please, no por favor, no, no llames a una ambulancia..!”

_ Spanish? This isn't good..._

Lance only spoke Spanish in front of Keith when he was either sick or extremelly emotional (this means mad, sad, excited, horny, and so on); the only Spanish words he regularly used were pet names and such. Never full sentences.

“Then you have to breathe deeply, come on Lance.” Keith insisted. He wasn’t annoyed nor angry, but he knew that softness wasn’t effective in this particular situation.

As Lance struggled to regain his breathing, Keith took out his phone, as his finger ghoster over Hunk’s contact.

_ It’s almost 4am, I can’t… _

He sighed, and proceeded to call his friend: he needed help, and familiar faces always made Lance feel better.

Keith didn’t even wait for three seconds, that Hunk picked up.

“Hunk, I’m sorry, it’s-”

_ “Is Lance okay?" _

__

"He's... No. No, he isn't. I don't know what to-"

__

_"It's alright, Keith. I’m coming over, I’ll be there in ten. Okay?” _

“Thank you, I… I don’t know what to do, Lance won’t listen”

_ “It’s okay, buddy. Calm down, follow the standard procedure. I’m already getting in my car, I’ll be there soon” _

“Okay, okay, thanks Hunk”

_ “You’re welcome, hang on now". _  


That said, Hunk ended the call, and Keith’s attention returned to his husband.

“Lance, I need you to put your head between your knees, now”

“I- I can’t...”

“Yes, you can, come on, work with me." Keith said, not to diminish the importance of Lance’s statement, but to reassure him.

Keith smiled, slightly relieved: Hunk didn’t live close at all, but he always found an excuse to come back to the Garrison for the anniversary.

He grabbed the shaking man’s tighs and put them back on the bed, forcing his knees up, then putting the hand on Lance’s nape and gently pushing it between his own knees. 

“Breathe through your nose, okay? Hunk’s almost here, any minute now, and he wants you to be calm” he murmured as he stroke Lance’s back.

The Cuban boy regained his breathing just when the doorbell rang.

“It’s Hunk. Stay here!” Keith exlaimed, running to open the door.

Not a minute later, the two men entered the bedroom, as Lance stared at the wall in front of him.

“Hey Lance, it’s me,” Hunk said, putting himself in Lance’s visual field, “you doing good?”

“H-Hunk, I-” Lance stopped, coughing harshly, “it’s Veronica, she is d-dead”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry buddy,” Hunk said, the grim look on his face masked with calmness, “I know it’s hard, I know… You were there, you saw everything that happened, and you think it’s your fault, but it’s not”

“I- I don’t w-wanna hear it!” Lance yelled, as his short breath made him sound all but intimidating.

“Then you know we can’t do anything about it, we can’t reverse death, and we can’t make you forget what happened,” Hunk said, sighing.

Keith cringed, placing a hand on his eyes, as tears rolled under them, as Lance kept crying and whimpering.

“It’s terrible, I know,” the Samoan boy admitted soflty, “but it’s the truth… And the truth hurts sometimes, you know?” he finished, caressing Lance’s shaking shoulders. 

“We just have to learn how to deal with this truth, how to handle the pain...”.

Lance’s breathing easied and became somewhat normal again; it took almost half a hour, but Hunk had done it, and that was all that mattered.

Keith, with the excuse of making some camomilla for them all, left the others. 

Hot, upset tears pricked at his eyes, as he choked back a sob. He needed to be strong for Lance, but _ damn_, it was so hard.

The Japanese man boiled some water and poured in the cups, then he put the powder inside them and waited.

As he was left alone with his thought, his cry became more desperate, yet silent, and he slowly sank to the floor, back pressed on the fridge’s door.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but he was startled by Hunk’s voice, suddenly close.

“Hey Keith, Lance fell asleep again, are you done with th-” the Samoan man stopped dead on his tracks at the sight of a broken Keith.

“Dude..." Hunk whispered sadly, as he lowered himself and sat next to the crying man, “do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m okay, I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I’m-" he sniffled, “God, you already did so much. I’m sorry I called you at this hour"

“Keith, it’s 5pm where I live, time-zones messed me up for good. I was already up, don’t worry,” the man smiled, “besides, I wouldn’t ignore a call, not when I know what’s going on. So, since I’m here, I wouldn’t mind if you told me something about you” he offered, eyebrows furrowed in pity and concern.

“It’s just...” Keith stopped to dry his tears, trying to look less desperate, “I’m his husband and I can’t even get him to calm down… I should be the person he trusts the most, and I should be able to help him in every situation… But… But I just can’t,” he let his head sink again, “what good am I for him? He doesn’t even feel safe! I make my spouse, the man I sworn to protect and cherish, the man that makes my day just by existing, feel unsafe, Hunk!”

“Keith, calm down." Hunk said, gently placing his hand on the man’s shoulder, “Nothing of what you said is true, you wanna know why? Yes, you do, I decided: he trusts you with his own life, and he told me so many times already, even way before you even spared him a look,” Hunk said, raising an eyebrow, amused, and making Keith smile and blush slighlty, “the only problem is that he is scared, so so scared of losing you too. He’s scared of losing someone else, he is terrified. You can see it by the way he looks when he’s asked to drive or when you have to leave, and when someone pulls an even mildly hazardous stunt,” Hunk said, eyes shining with tears. 

"Lance loves us so much, and you in particular, of course, I mean, he married you, right?” he continued, “Lance doesn’t talk to you when he’s feeling like this because he’s scared that he may hurt you, with words and actions, and so he’d rather be left alone, even if that’s an obviously dangerous thing in this case”

Keith, gawping, stared at Hunk, “R-really..?”

“A hundred percent, man”

“How… I mean… You got all of this just by looking at him? You’re- Hunk, that’s what I mean when-”

“Keith, no. I didn’t just 'look at him'. Lance told me himself”

The Japanese man’s eyes widened, “W-when did he-?”

Hunk smiled, lowering his gaze, “Lance proposed to you two years ago, right?”

“Yeah...”

“You see, before coming to you, he came to me,” Hunk continued, “not to propose, of course!” he added, earning a small laugh from the other man, 

“That time, he asked me a favour: to protect you in case something happened, and also, to protect you from him”

“What!?”

“Lance told me about his episodes, about how you took care of him during those, and about how he yelled and also physically pushed you away, making you stumble and fall”

“He didn’t do that on purpose, it was my fault, I didn’t know how to handle it back then!,” Keith hurried, “he never hurt me again and apologized so many times, I can’t even count them!”

“Yeah, he told me that too,” Hunk smiled, “and I also believe that he didn’t do that on purpose. Even Lance told me that he wasn’t in control of his actions… PTSD can be like that, the psychologist told us that, remember?”

“I do...” Keith nodded.

“So, he asked me to be present during the episodes, or at least, to make you call me in case of emergency… That idiot even offered me money,” Hunk laughed, “can you believe it?”

“Sounds like something he’d do,” Keith admitted smiling, “he hates bothering people… Friend or not, he just hates the thought of being a burden”

“He always did, even back in the days at the Garrison… Not once he asked for help, I swear, and when Pidge and I helped anyway, he cried for hours, saying that he felt bad for disturbing us and all of that crap”

“He does that with me too, but we’re working on it. He’s gotten better, you know?” Keith said, “He’s fragile, but I think he’s finally getting to the point where he’ll understand that he is absolutely worth it”

“I’m so glad to hear that!” Hunk muttered happily, shedding a tear.

Keith smiled softly, “Thank you, buddy, you- you saved us” he said, hugging the bigger man.

They stayed like that, chatting on the kitchen’s floor, till they heard Lance waking up.

Hunk said his goodbyes, and left, proud and gladly satisfied.

Lance went oustide the house, and stared at the gray and gloomy sky while standing next to the tree they’d personally planted for Veronica: it had a hard time growing- the desert’s not an ideal place for gardening- but they managed to get it to stand, and daily checked on it, watering and pruning the plant whenever necessary.

Keith stepped oustide too, and much to his surprise, his husband turned around to look at him.

“Keith, I’m… I’m sorry...” Lance whispered, staying away from his spouse, “I just… I...”.

The Japanese man got closer to the Lance, placing his warm hands on his husband’s chocolate locks, “It’s okay, Lance… I know. I know it’s hard, and… And I’m sorry. I know you know that I am, but I feel like I have to tell you again, so… I’m sorry, Lance” Keith whispered, placing his head on Lance’s chest, 

“I lost my dad when I was little. I grieved, and I still do, but I can’t really remember much of it. But you experienced your sister’s death as an adult, and you witnessed it with your own eyes… It’s- it’s totally different from what happened to my father...” Keith added, lowering his eyes.

“Keith...”

“I know what you’re going through, but I can only imagine the amount of pain you’re in… And I doubt it will fade any time soon, no, I doubt it’ll go away at all,” Keith continued, “but I need you to know that I am here, that I love you, and that what you say when you’re...” he hesitated. 

“When… When you’re having an episode, those things you say won’t make me mad, and I will never, ever leave you, I swear”.

Lance’s eyes filled with tears, that Keith prompty swept away with his thumbs, 

“Lance, I love you with all of my heart, and I always will, no matter what!” he said, “I made the sacred vow to have and to hold you, forever, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and I meant all of it, still do”.

“Me too...” Lance said, smiling softly and taking Keith’s hands, “I’m so thankful to have you, Keith… And Hunk, and Pidge, Shiro, Coran, Allura, mamá, papá, my siblings, and… And all of them. Thank you, mi amor. I love you so much”

“Remember that you can always talk to me,” Keith added, “I won’t leave you, I won’t run away, no matter what, okay? We’ll get through this. It will get better: it’ll be painful, upsetting, and slow, but we’ll make it,” he finished, smiling softly “together”.

Before one of them could add anything else, a drop of rain fell on Lance’s cute upturned nose- making him blink rapidly- then another one, and so on, till the two spouses were both soaked to the core.

Lance brought Keith closer, and kissed him genlty, lips soft and wet, hands on each other’s hips.

“Te amo, Lance, ahora y para siempre...” Keith said in his best Spanish accent, earning a soft laugh from the Cuban man.

“Daring, aren’t we?” Lance teased, raising an eyebrow and kissing him again.

“Oh, shut up already,” Keith eyerolled, “you’re good at English only ‘cause you’ve been speaking it for almost all of your life!” he added, jokingly.

“What can I say, I’m the man” Lance laughed, touching his husband’s forehead with his own, “I’m happy, Keith… I am… I will never heal completely, I know… Some days will be good, others will be awful, and I’m so sorry for that. But… I’m okay for now”

“That’s all that matters for me, love” Keith said, smiling softly, “I’m here for you”

“I know… Your love’s washing my pain away,” the Cuban boy whispered, “como la lluvia que lava el polvo...”

“What..?,” Keith asked, tilting his head, “what did you just say?”

“Nothing,” Lance replied smiling, “I just love you much, Keith” he finished, kissing the man before his ocean eyes.

Keith stepped indoors, and Lance stayed just outside the porch for a moment, gazing aimlessly at the sky with a soft expression on his face, 

_ Do you remember when we played together in the rain, Veronica? Well, it really was you yelling at me and saying that I would catch a cold if I stayed outside in the bad weather like that. _he shrugged with a grin on his face.

_ But rain for me isn’t bad, no, it’s a blessing… I know you know, I told you a hundred times, didn’t I? Sorry about that, I can be repetitive... _

_ But rain really reminds me of you, it always did. _

_ Maybe that’s why I missed it so much when I was in space, and why I can’t help the feeling that I belong with it. _

_And now that you’re gone, I feel like this, _Lance stopped, putting and open hand under the pounding rain and letting it pool inside the palm, _this_ _is you talking to me. It is you, isn’t it? _he chuckled lighlty, eyes filled with tears.

_ My God, I miss you so much… _Lance sighed, passing a hand through his damp hair.

_ Tu siempre estabas ahí, Veronica, y cuando te necesitaba, venías siempre por ayudarme y consolarme… _

_ Hermanita, tu me manques, pero en cierto modo, sé que estás sigo aquí. _

“Lance,” Keith called, “baby, are you coming in?”

“Yes mi amor!” Lance replied, putting one foot on the porch’s stairs, and looking back one last time,

_ Veronica, tu es mi amada lluvia… _ he added smiling, drying a salty tear mixed with raindrops, _ hasta luego, hermanita, ¡te quiero _! 

Lance smiled again, and entered the house welcomed by Keith’s delicate smile.

**fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation of Lance's final speech:  
"you were always there, Veronica, and when I needed you, you came to help and console me. Sis, I miss you, but in a way, I know your'e still here for me. (...) Veronica, you're my beloved rain. (...) See you soon, sis, I love you"
> 
> that's it, folks!  
I really enjoyed writing this fic and I hope you liked this too, cause I put my heart into it, really.  
I plan to write more things like this, both heavier and softer stuff, so don't forget to check my works and see my tumblr (@theforgottendaydreamer) for updates, prompts and all.  
I love you, thanks for reading this.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't speak Spanish and I'm not even an English native speaker, so if you find any mistakes, please, let me know!  
Constructive criticism is always welcome too!


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